A Worthy Challenge
by GrowlingPeanut
Summary: Holidays may be a little difficult to keep track of on a planet that has 90 hours in a day, but Gaige's father calls to remind her that (at least back on Eden-5), it's a day devoted to celebrating and showing love. Thankfully, she has someone who's more than willing to fill up those 90 hours of Pandora's "Valentine's Day" with as much love as they can both handle.
1. With Love From Eden-5

**A/N:** So…this was supposed to be up on Valentine's Day. But that didn't happen. Because I have a good excuse. I GOT BORDERLANDS 2. **I GOT BORDERLANDS 2. FOR X-BOX **_**AND**_** PC! **AND (as a side note) TWO OF THE HALO GAMES. Pretty good excuses, no? So yeah, I've been playing a lot of those lately. Which means, by extension, that writing stuff will be even easier! YAHOOOOOO!

Alright. Here's the deal. This is a fluffy one. Ever since I started writing angst-filled drama-riddled stories, fluff has become tough for me. I may come back to this to make revisions a few times. But I wanted to get this first part up now before it got too far past Valentine's Day for me to say this was _for_ Valentine's Day. That made sense, right? Yeah. So this will be in two parts, and this is the first part. Also, chapter three of **Unconventional **is in the works. I briefly lost momentum, but it's back now.

For those of you reading this without any knowledge of my _other _Borderlands story (that I just mentioned), **Unconventional**, hop on over and check it out! It'll provide a little more background on my personal view of Zer0—what he is and his relationship with Gaige. If you're too lazy to read that (shame on you), here's the short version: Zer0's a human/Eridian mix and he and Gaige have so much sex it would put Moxxi to shame. Kidding. Kind of.

I'mma shut up now so you can enjoy the fluff! **Read, enjoy, review, and share!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

"_So...you want to hear a story, eh? A story of battle and fame and riches beyond the scope of your wildest dre—what? No? Well then what kind of a story—a __**love**__ story? You want to hear a __**LOVE**__ story? Oh brother… Ah, well, I suppose I can tell you a love story…_

"_Our story begins with a man and a woman. The man came to Pandora searching for clues to his shadowed past. His origins are mysterious and only his friends know what he hides beneath his armor. The woman fled to Pandora from Eden-5, escaping flames and smoke and blood splashed on metal. Some attribute their meeting to fate, others to the machinations of Hyperion and Handsome Jack. No matter the true cause, the two of them became an inseparable pair—both on and off the battlefield…_

"_This is their tale. Or, a part of it, anyway. A little piece of the lives of two Vault Hunters that found love amidst the wilds of the Borderlands…"_

* * *

Gaige tossed her clothes into a pile on the mat beside the shower. The natural sunrise had finally lined up with her own circadian rhythms, so for the first time in a long time, she felt well-rested and ready to kick some ass. Not that she ever _didn't_ feel like kicking ass.

She tested the water with her right hand and stepped in a second later. After this shower, she'd tune up the other arm; put some oil in the joints, tighten up the bolts, reconfigure some calibrations, maybe give it a coat of wax. Then, she'd fiddle around with Deathtrap, spoil him with some new upgrades, and then…

...fighting alone wasn't really the same anymore. But she didn't want to sit around and the rest of the Vault Hunters already had their own obligations. She sighed, disappointed. The "rest of the Vault Hunters" included Zer0. Whom she hadn't seen in...three days. Three _long_ Pandoran days. She knew she would be getting herself into this when they started dating. He liked to work alone, that was fine. So did she. Or so she thought. She hadn't really expected to get so...attached. Before Pandora, she hadn't had friends. She'd been more than happy with Deathtrap and her dad and no one else. But now, she missed having _him_ around. She missed his stupid haikus. Missed the smiley-face emotes that always followed his snarky one-liners.

And suddenly, she didn't feel so peppy anymore. She'd have to wait through one more ninety-hour day with just her own rambling to keep her company. Maybe if she was lucky, one of the others would drop by for a few hours. Sure, Tannis was puttering around downstairs, but if Gaige was going to be honest with herself...she was a little intimidated by the scientist. That woman was a special kind of crazy. No, she'd rather listen to Mordecai slur drunkenly to his bird than try to talk to Tannis. So _that_ wasn't an option.

Sullenly, she reached for the soap. And hesitated. ...he was there. Sure, he was completely silent, but somehow, she still knew. Maybe she saw his shadow out of the corner of her eye. Maybe she'd just gotten so used to his presence that she instinctively knew when he entered a room. Unfortunately, neither of those things were enough to keep her from dropping the soap when he finally spoke.

"Boo."

She leaned down to retrieve the soap. "I knew you were there. You can't sneak up on me anymore—"

"Challenge accepted."

"—but you still freak me out and make me drop stuff and look stupid when you—"

There's the familiar sound of a belt buckle being unfastened.

"...are you...are you getting undressed?"

"Mind if I join you?"

She chewed her lip. _Don't seem too desperate, don't seem too desperate… _"What's the password?"

He sighed. "I need my wings washed / You look nice with your hair down / Is that good enough?"

"...yeah, come on in." Not even ten minutes and he was already in the shower with her. One hell of a reunion...not that she was complaining.

The curtain rustled aside as he stepped in; all long limbs and sharp angles. She could feel her temperature rising—and not just in her face, either. It didn't matter how many times she saw him; she always had to stare. How she'd managed to find and keep such a unique, beautiful, deadly lover always baffled her.

His pale grey eyes met her green ones and he raised an eyebrow just a fraction of an inch. "See something you like?"

She turned away with a smile. "You should know the answer to that by now."

"That doesn't stop me / I'd rather hear you say it / So just humor me." He hugged her shoulders and pulled her against him, leaning down to kiss the top of her right ear.

She bit her lip. This was about to become a very counterproductive shower. "I'm really lucky to have you," was all she said. She was acutely aware of his heartbeat against her back and her stomach fluttered. Stupid-sexy assassin. She didn't fight him when he started licking at her jaw and neck, but her breath did catch and she had to concentrate on ignoring his rather obvious signs of arousal. "We can't do this right now..." she muttered.

He nibbled her shoulder.

"Zer0, I swear—"

Hands slid down to her hips.

"Do you want to have your wings cleaned or not?"

"I could stand to wait / We've been apart for three days / Why are you nervous?"

Gaige sighed and shook her head. "What if Tannis finds us? Best case scenario, she pops a blood vessel or pukes or something. _Worst_ case scenario, she wants to _watch_. You know how weird she gets about Eridian biology and all that—"

He snorted. "As far as I know / there's nothing Eridian / about how we fuck."

Gaige didn't even want to ask how much he knew, or how he learned it. The only way he could've figured out something like that would be to _ask_ Tannis about it—and, by extension, detail (maybe not graphically), how the two of them had sex and...nope. She didn't want to know. So she chose to ignore the comment and move on. "—and besides, it would be obvious—I'm _loud_."

A low laugh escaped his lips. "I know, I like it."

That actually provoked a blush and she swatted at his arms until he let her go. "Just turn around."

He did, but not without sending a smirk over his shoulder. "Do not use my wings / as an excuse for the truth / You just want my ass."

"Well...it is damn-near perfect." She picked up the bar of soap with her organic hand, rubbing it around the bases of the delicate wings that grew out from between his shoulder blades. He braced his forearms on the shower wall and watched her work out of the corner of his eye. After a minute, she'd worked up enough of a lather to gently rub the foam down the length of each wing, being careful not to use her mechanical hand.

"Hypothetically / If we were truly alone / Would you be willing?"

"Willing to what? Have shower sex with you? Sure. You know…" she thought for a moment. "There aren't really too many things I _wouldn't_ try, given the chance. It's just the very high probability of being walked in on that keeps me from doing them."

"I'll keep that in mind / Only shameless in private / A bit ironic."

"Given that I've only recently gotten used to doing things without my clothes on, no, not really. Being shameless around other people is a lot easier when you're not naked. Trust me."

He laughed, but didn't say anything.

She focused on his wings. She remembered the first time she'd seen them. They'd been beautiful. Blurry—given that she was seeing them through three bottles of beer—but beautiful. Unfortunately, their appearance had also started a cascade of questions that no one had all the answers to. Which, if anything, only made her more curious and more determined to help him on his search for those missing pieces. She traced the thin veins, smiling to herself.

"As good as it feels / I don't need the detail work / I'm not a machine."

"Sorry. I was just thinking." She stepped back and allowed him some space under the running water.

"Thinking about what? / All the things you'd do to me / if we were alone?"

"And you accuse _me_ of having a one-track mind…" She splashed a handful of water toward him.

He reacted with mock offense and ducked out of the way. "It's not so easy / To forget those ideas / Once they've been started."

She sighed and crossed her arms. "If you _must _know…I've really missed you and I never remember how lonely I get when you're gone. So, yeah, right now, what I really want to do is push you up against the wall and have my way with you. For _hours_." She almost laughed at the fact that she wasn't even trying to talk dirty—she was just being honest.

"I wouldn't fight it / Unless you wanted me to / It's more fun that way…"

Gaige felt a surge of heat rising to her face and knew her cheeks must have been as red as her hair. "You know you're making it real tough for me to control myself, right?"

He just shrugged, but there was a disturbingly playful glint in his eyes.

* * *

Yes, he knew. And he was enjoying every second of it. She'd sent his imagination running wild, so it was only fair for her to suffer the same sexual discomfort he was until they were able to…

Wow, just the thought alone was enough to send a rush of blood to his cheeks. Since when had he become so dependent on _sex_? The one thing he'd always thought he could live without… And then it had turned into a near-nightly activity. And he found himself _craving_ it—even after short breaks, like this. Three days! It had only been three days. And here he was blushing and flirting and leading her on like his life depended on getting her into bed, when just a year or so earlier, he wouldn't have thought twice about even making a mild innuendo, much less actually _having sex_. ...and enjoying it so much.

"Just finish up and maybe we'll have time to mess around a little before someone comes back or Tannis hears me praising you and your mad bedroom skills," she muttered, splashing a few handfuls of water into her face. "Even though we'll have to take _another_ shower 'cause we'll be all gross and sweaty and shit. All your fault, of course."

He rolled his eyes. "So take another / You know it will be worth it / Like it always is."

She sighed, but then broke into a small grin. "Yeah, I never did understand how people could complain about having _bad_ sex… 'Cause, every single time _I've_ had it, it's fucking amazing."

"Thank you." He laughed and sidestepped another splash of water tossed in his direction.

"Don't give yourself _all _the credit—I've picked up a few tricks…" She raised an eyebrow suggestively. "Remember that _one_ night?"

He doubted he'd ever be able to _forget_ "that one night." God, he'd never ended up sleeping so hard in his entire life...

Gaige snickered. "Yeah, you remember…" She crossed her arms, looking rather triumphant. "I had you _singing_…"

A familiar notification sound stopped any response he would have offered, if he'd remembered how to speak intelligibly after being reminded of that particular...escapade.

Gaige frowned and peeked out around the curtain. "Who the hell would be calling now…?" Without waiting for an answer, she stepped out of the shower, dried off just enough to throw half her clothes on, and scampered into the communications room of the Raider HQ, pulling on her shirt as she went. "I'm coming, I'm coming...yeesh…" She typed a few quick keystrokes into the ECHO station. "Mechromancer at your serv—_dad?!_ Why are you—how'd you know where to—what's going on? Is everything okay? They're not coming after me, are they?"

Zer0 could hear a man laughing from the other side of the transmission. He recognized the voice from Gaige's ECHO logs.

"Did I call at a bad time? You look like you just got out of the shower."

"I did. But it's whatever. Why'd you call? What's up?"

The man paused, then cleared his throat. "It's...um...it's Valentine's Day, sweetheart. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Oh…" Slowly, she pulled up a chair. "I didn't even know, I totally would have called you first. It's kinda weird, cause the days are ninety hours long over here, so every year is like three times longer than an Eden-5 year, so, yeah, anyway. I'm good, doing great. It's a lot of fun. Me and DT are kicking ass, of course, and I've met a lot of awesome people and...oh. Hold on for a sec, dad. There's...uh...there's someone I want you to meet."

Zer0's stomach dropped, but he didn't have much time to formulate any coherent worries before Gaige was poking her head into the shower.

"Turn off the water and come say hi to my dad."

"It's not that simple—"

"Sure it is. Just get out, get dressed, and come sit with me."

"Are you sure you want—?"

"You're not scared, are you? Seriously? Dude, he's gonna be _thrilled _I finally have a boyfriend. Do you know how long he's waited—"

"It's not that."

"Then what is it? Wait...oh...ha, no. You'll be fine. Everyone's a criminal over here, and besides, Dad's so chill it's probably a fatal flaw—he was the one who helped me escape Eden-5 in the first place, remember?"

He shook his head. "You're charged for small things / Manslaughter and evasion / I'm an _assassin_." Needless to say, the circumstances were a bit..._different_.

"Okay, so I won't tell him what you do. But I still want to show you off. Get outta there!" She tugged on his arm.

"Gaige?"

"Just a second, I swear!" she called back, shooting a near-incendiary glare at Zer0. "Get the _hell_ out of that shower," she hissed, "or so help me I won't get into bed with you for a fuckin' week. And I don't just mean I won't have sex with you—I mean I won't even get into the same _bed_—"

"Gaige….?"

"Be right there, Dad!"

Zer0 grumbled and turned off the water, but not without flicking the last of it at Gaige before stepping out completely. She brandished a middle finger at him and mouthed _NO HAIKU_ as she headed back to the ECHO station. The adamance was tangible. He offered a mocking salute and reached for his clothes.

"Gaige, honey…" there was a slight pause, "...this person you want me to meet… Wouldn't happen to be _male_, by any chance?"

"...um...yeah…"

"Mmhm. And is it any coincidence that after you went to go get him, I heard the shower turn off?"

"...no…"

"And, just...out of curiosity...would that shower happen to be the same one you were in before I called?"

Zer0 glanced out into the room. Gaige was chewing on her lip and picking at her nails with an intensity he'd never seen before. When she briefly made eye contact, he gave a thumbs up and mouthed _good job_. He only received a scowl in response.

"...yeah…" she eventually answered. "But Dad—I'm not a baby; I can make my own decisions and I know how to take care of myself and I promise I'm staying safe—"

"I trust you, sweetie, I just wanted to make sure I had all my facts straight."

"You do. We've...been dating for…about a year, now. I know it doesn't seem like a long time, but we've been through a lot of crap together and he's never once let me down and—"

"So you're committed?"

"Hell yes." The admission was said without hesitation. "He's the best thing that's happened to me since I got here." Her voice was notably quieter. And more vulnerable. But no less sincere.

And, for some reason, hearing her say that, in this context, Zer0 actually believed her. Not that he had any reason _not_ to believe her any of the other times she'd mentioned it, but it had always been said in a different situation. After sex, usually, when she was half-asleep and snuggling, lost in that post-orgasm haze of contentment. This was different.

Gaige's father cleared his throat. "So tell me about this young man."

Her face lit up again. "He's...God, he's amazing. Um...okay, so a little bit of background first. You know about Eridium, right? The weird mineral that showed up here? Yeah, so it's named after an ancient species that used to live here—the guys that built the Vaults—Eridians. Well...my boyfriend's part Eridian, part human. Oh—and that's top-secret info right there, Dad, so don't tell anyone. Anyway, it obviously can't be natural, since all the Eridians died off, like, hundreds of years ago, so we figure he's been genetically engineered somehow, which is kinda freaky, but he's got beautiful purple shimmery wings and he's tall and skinny and hot as all hell—"

Zer0 listened with a half-smile and pulled on the short-sleeved black shirt he'd gotten used to wearing around the HQ now that he had little to hide from his fellow Vault Hunters. It didn't hurt that Gaige could (and liked to) trace the faint ridges of his muscles through the fabric, either. And he could comfortably fold his wings against his back to keep them hidden underneath it. It was a win-win shirt. He walked into the communications room, shaking the remaining water out of his hair.

Gaige waved him over with a grin. "Dad, meet Zer0. Zer0, Dad."

Gaige's father's attention shifted to him as he pulled up another chair. "Zero?"

The assassin forced a smile. "It's a nickname. I got it, it stuck." He studied the other man's face. There was no hint of surprise or disapproval. Mild curiosity. That wasn't surprising.

"Right." His gaze flicked back to his daughter. "Gaige, honey? Would you mind giving the two of us a few minutes? It's not that I don't—"

"I know, I know, it's a dad thing." She shrugged and leaned over, giving Zer0 a quick kiss on the jaw before hopping to her feet and heading toward the hallway. "Just call me back when you're done!"

Zer0 cracked his knuckles, listening to her footsteps descending the stairs. "Your reputation precedes you," he started. Might as well make a good first impression.

Her father chuckled. "Oh does it? She talks about me over there? Tells embarrassing stories, I'm sure."

Zer0 shook his head. "No, actually. The way I've heard it, you're her hero."

"I always tried to be a good father," he admitted. "Raising a daughter isn't easy."

"You've done an admirable job."

"So she hasn't driven you crazy yet, then?"

At that, Zer0 actually laughed. _Everyone's crazy on this planet, anyway._ "Not yet. But I was always the quiet one, so we even each other out. She likes having someone who will listen."

Gaige's father smiled softly. "Glad to hear it." He paused, looked away from the screen, then back again, notably more serious. "Look, I just want you to know I have no problems with you. I don't care who you are, what you are, where you come from or what your name is—I just want you to take care of my girl. Can you do that?"

"I have been since the day I met her." Not _exactly_ true, but he wasn't stupid. "And with all due respect, I think we both know she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself."

"She is, but just for the sake of my peace of mind…"

"Of course." Her father nodded, but to Zer0's trained eyes, he still didn't seem convinced. Well, he could easily fix that. "Your daughter is an amazing and brilliant young woman and to be honest, I have no idea why she chose me. But I consider myself lucky."

That seemed to relax him a little, but there was still a sharp edge in his expression. "She is certainly unique." He locked eyes with Zer0 through the screen. "Don't take her for granted. Respect her and you and I will have no problems."

Zer0 gave a silent nod.

"And one last thing before you call her in. I know you two are physically involved—she wasn't too subtle about that. I have no right to judge your relationship on that aspect, she's an adult and she can make her own decisions. But...just, please, for the love of God, don't do anything stupid. She's still young."

Right. Sex. Birth control. No, Zer0 didn't want her pregnant either. That kid would be royally fucked in the genetics department. "I understand. Trust me, we're being careful. Pandora isn't exactly the best place to try to raise children, so that's not something either of us want at the moment."

That did it. Her father visibly relaxed, nodding to himself. "Thank you. You can go ahead and bring her back." He smiled, but it looked a little forced.

He made the split-second decision to actually stand up and physically retrieve Gaige rather than just yelling for her. Every extra point toward "proper boyfriend manners" would help him.

"You guys have a nice talk?" she started when they were both situated in front of the screen again.

"We did," her father answered. "You picked a good one, even if he is a little...unorthodox."

Zer0 had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He needed to make a list of all the adjectives people pinned to him.

Gaige reached over and held one of his hands, smiling. "Yeah, well, you should have expected that."

"I would have expected nothing less. You always were more interested in machines and aliens than typical boys, anyway."

"Typical boys can suck it," Gaige muttered. "I got a man that could kick all their asses. And no, it doesn't hurt that he's not all human, either."

Her father just laughed and shook his head. "So what about these other friends you mentioned—where are they?"

"Oh, they're off doing their own thing, but I can tell you a little about 'em." She didn't even wait for a response before starting in. "Axton's ex-military and he uses this _beautiful_ turret—Maya and Lilith are legit sirens and they're _amazing_—Mordecai's a sniper from Artemis and he has this really cool raptor that he's trained to attack people—Salvador's actually _from_ Pandora—"

Zer0 smiled and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. Against his will, he was starting to enjoy this. This prospect of a "normal" life. It had taken him two years to realize that Gaige had become his...home, in a sense. He'd never had a place to claim as his own; a night here, an hour or so somewhere else, and then he moved on. He only took what he could carry with him. Never stayed anywhere longer than he had to. Didn't like feeling _comfortable_ anywhere. It went against all he'd ever known. To be comfortable was to be distracted, lazy, and unaware. And that was as good as being dead.

But this was something else. He almost laughed at himself for calling her this, but...she was a challenge. And not by being difficult or fickle, but simply by being herself. She was a _good_ challenge. She was...worthy. He felt comfortable around her, but he didn't feel like he was letting his guard down. No, if anything, she forced him to be even _more_ aware. Aside from running him through a gauntlet of teasing and innuendo and pure emotion every day, he now actually had someone to look out for. To protect. That also went against his instinct as an assassin, but it didn't feel wrong. Not by a long shot.


	2. Private Commitment

**A/N: **Here is the long-awaited and long-overdue conclusion to this Valentine's Day fluff-fest! Huzzah! Now with extra character development and 500% more sex! Tried to go detailed without going graphic. I don't even think I could write graphic anymore. Which is probably a good thing…

Many thanks to those of you who either reviewed/faved/followed: **Farky-Fark and the Munky Bunch, CGAdam, La Victime, Deponk, Suskan, mikashiro, A Soggy Sandwich, Carrotkidful, otakuhelp, Xana Zikra, MercuryPilgrim, Archetype412, jaycencrose, **and **CanoQueen**. All the support and words of encouragement give me more writing fuel, so keep it coming!

Also, **Glaurung1**, the "sneak pants" comment was all for you. Spy pants. Gotta have spy pants.

Lastly, I felt like I needed to give a shout-out to my other two (main) ships of the Borderlands universe, so both of them are mentioned in the last section. And no, one of them is not Axton/his turret. But they are adorable together.

All jokes aside, here's chapter two! **Read, enjoy, review, share!**  
**Disclaimer: Not mine, but I'll play with them and pick them apart.**

* * *

Zer0 looked up from the pistol he was cleaning. They'd both agreed that there was nothing quite as romantic as decimating the local wildlife with overpowered weapons, so they went out thresher-hunting for a few hours after Gaige and her father had finished catching up. "You have good parents," he eventually quipped, rubbing at a particularly stubborn bloodstain.

Gaige nodded, pulling a box out of the locker closest to her bunk. "They tried their best. God knows I wasn't an easy kid to take care of…" She rummaged through the box.

"What did your father mean by 'strawberries and sugar'?"

"Oh." She laughed a little and set the box aside, pulling out another one. "It's...just…" She sighed. "Every Valentine's Day, me and Dad would always get a crate of the biggest, reddest strawberries we could find and eat 'em with sugar. Any we didn't eat we'd freeze and use for cupcakes and smoothies and stuff. Kinda dumb, I know, but it started when I was really little and I can't say no to a ripe strawberry, so..." She shrugged.

He slowly set the gun on the table, mentally bracing himself to ask what had to be one of the stupidest questions _ever_. "What's a strawberry?"

The look she gave him only reinforced his initial assessment of the question's stupidity. Then she smiled. "Sometimes I forget you were never…" She shook her head, still smiling to herself. "A strawberry's a fruit. Sweet, bright red, shaped like little hearts, kinda. They're delicious. Especially with sugar. I don't think they'd grow here very well, but I also know nothing about plants, so take my gardening advice as you will. I bet the Hyperion big wigs have 'em shipped in. Lucky bastards." Her face fell a little. "I haven't gotten anything sent in for...a long time." She looked back down at the box on her lap. "This was the last one. Used up pretty much everything they sent."

He just watched her as she went back to digging through the multiple boxes laid out around her feet and on the bunk beside her. He still didn't feel comfortable consoling her when she got homesick. He never knew what to say. He had no home to be sick for, no parents to miss. So he just stayed silent and tried to convey his sympathy without words. He didn't have long to worry, thankfully, since she gave a small laugh a moment later.

"Dang, I forgot all about these…"

"Hm?"

"A bunch of my old ECHO logs…" She took one out of the box on her thighs. Her latest care package had been placed back into the locker. "I kinda forgot I even used to make 'em…" She set the box aside. "I think this is the one I made on the train…"

"_Hello, my faithful subscribers! I made it to Pandora, and I'm on a train. With other Vault Hunters. So maybe I won't be as screwed out here as I thought I might be. I mean, you should _see_ these guys. They look like they actually, y'know, _planned _on being Vault Hunters instead of just using that as a backup life goal while they were escaping the burning wreckage of their high school so they wouldn't be arrested for _something that wasn't even supposed to have happened_—ahem. Uh, so yeah. Vault Hunters. Four of 'em. One looks like he's in the army, and there's a really short little dude with crazy hair, and there's a—holy shit—a Siren. A legit Siren. That is so cool. Oh my God. And she's hot, too. God. Wow. Okay. Siren. Anyway, the, uh, the last one is some other… (a long pause) ...well, I was _gonna _say "guy," but I don't even know…"_

"Me, I presume." Zer0, now thoroughly intrigued, stood and crossed the room, joining her on the bunk.

"Yeah, I had no idea what the hell you were. Which is probably what you were going for, so it worked."

"—_really really skinny, and no boobs, so I _think_ it's a guy…? Maybe. I got nothin'. Still. Wouldn't mind getting into his...its?...pants. He's...Its?—ugh, God, you know what, I'm just gonna call it a he 'cause I'm really psyching myself out—anyway, he's got legs that won't quit and the cutest ass of any of 'em—'cept maybe the Siren—so yeah, I'd totally bang that. Aaaand...I just remembered that people actually listen to these—"_

"I totally do not remember saying that, just for the record. But hey, it was between you or Maya, so you should feel flattered, I guess?"

"—_whoa, whoa! Hyperion douchebags sent loader bots after us! Those _dicks! _Anyway, uh, got some surviving to do, so—(sound of rapid gunfire)—Gaige out!"_

Zer0 was already digging through the box before the recording stopped. Every recorder was marked with a number, presumably to keep them in order... Wait. This one... "What's this?" He held up one of the recorders marked with the number one and a small "z."

"Oh...uh...it's in the wrong box, for one. But it's nothing important. Just some of my...engineering notes."

He held it out of her reach when she tried to take it from him. "I don't believe you."

"Just...lemme have it." She tried to grab it again. "I'll play it if you give it to me."

"Why can't I play it?"

"You sound like a whiny little kid," she grouched, glaring at him. He could see her trying to think up more excuses. After a moment, she made a noise of defeat and sat back, tossing her hands up before crossing them over her chest. "Fine. Guess it's not anything you haven't already heard, anyway."

He couldn't help the triumphant smirk that crossed his lips as he hit the playback button.

"_So...the thing, right? That I wasn't sure was a guy? Almost ninety-five percent sure he _is_. At least, he _sounds_ like one. A really hot one. If a voice can be hot. Can a voice be hot? Yeah. Yeah... Maybe he's a robot. That'd be cool. But it would probably make things kinda awkward since, uh...yeah, you can't really fuck a robot. I mean, I guess you _could_, but you'd have to get a little creative. Unless, like, it already comes built with all the parts—not that I spend all my time thinking about this. And I don't. I mean, that's weird, right? Having sex with a machine? But he _looks_ like a person. I mean, legs, arms, stuff. Probably a really realistic android. Or maybe he's not a robot and he's just a human. No, no, cause, the hands. Yeah. Only got three fingers and a thumb. And not like one of 'em was cut off. It looks natural. So probably not human. You know, I think he should just strip naked and clear up all the mystery. And...then let me tie him to a bed. And...yeah, I don't think I'm gonna make these public anymore…."_

Zer0 didn't find himself blushing frequently. And, on the rare occasions he _did_, it was _usually_ because Gaige was taking her sweet time undressing him and enjoying every minute of it. He'd never once in his life blushed due to embarrassment. Ah, well, there was always a first time for everything.

"You see why I didn't wanna…"

He spared her a glance out of the corner of his eye. Her blush was darker. And much more guilty. "Your priorities were certainly in order from the beginning."

"You're hot, okay?" she grumbled, snatching the recording from him. "And you basically knew all this stuff anyway. I mean, it's not like I _don't_ constantly hit on you."

"No, but that bit—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...whatever. You're not a machine, so it doesn't apply—moving on." She started digging through the box again, a little more frantically than before.

He smirked and leaned back against the wall. "Hypothetically—"

"Oh no, not again..."

"—Were I some sort of machine / Would you still want me?"

She paused from her frenzied rummaging to level a "you-should-know-better" glance in his direction. "If you'd been listening to _any_ of that, you'd know I wanted you before I even knew what you were. So yes. We'd make it work one way or another. And not just the sex. All of it. Assuming that you had some sort of super-advanced AI or were actually sentient and could _have_ feelings and stuff. But that's really messy. I'm happy you are what you are, but I'd be willing to take you no matter what."

"Take me? Or..._take_ me?" He cocked an eyebrow for added effect.

She snorted. "Both. God, you're worse than Moxxi today…"

They fell into silence for a few minutes, allowing Zer0 to think about her response. It was strange, being willing to accept someone regardless of how many differences there could potentially be between them. Then again, that was supposedly the whole premise of "love" in the first place, so maybe it wasn't as strange as he thought. Or maybe it was just strange to him because he'd never actually _loved_ anyone or anything until…

He watched Gaige sorting through the recordings; filing them away into different boxes. Did he love her? He wouldn't have known how to even _start_ answering that question. He didn't know the parameters of what quantified "love." Might as well start small… Did he enjoy her company? Yes. Did he miss her when they were separated? Yes. Did he want to make her happy? Yes. Did he concern himself with her physical and emotional health? Yes. So far, promising. Would he be willing to kill anyone who made her life miserable? Absolutely, though, given that he murdered for both fun and money, that wasn't much of a stretch. The better question was...would he be willing to die for her? That, he didn't know. He valued his life pretty highly.

"...but I mean, that's only if you want to help...hello…?" He was vaguely aware of her hand in front of his face. "Pandora to sexy assassin..."

He blinked and sat up. "Sorry."

"Heh, you respond to 'sexy assassin.' That's great. I was just wondering if you'd wanna help me work on Deathtrap for a little bit. Down in the garage."

He knew full well that "a little bit" would turn into a few hours, and that she had an ulterior motive for wanting him there. Scooter was relentless in his flirting, which was only made worse by the fact that Gaige was such a mechanical genius. However, despite the fact that Scooter himself could be a cold-blooded killer (given the right motivation), he was _terrified_ of Zer0. He didn't always _mean _to show it, but it came through obviously enough.

That didn't mean Zer0 didn't enjoy helping Gaige with her projects, though. He was always willing to learn something new, and knowing how to build laser upgrades for killer robots could certainly come in handy. It also didn't hurt that, for some reason, Gaige was somehow infinitely more attractive with grease smeared across her face while buried elbow-deep in wires and circuit boards. "Of course."

Gaige beamed and hopped up from the bunk, taking a moment to stuff all the boxes back into her locker. "Ready when you are. You can put all your gear back on and—"

"I don't think I will."

She stopped short and blinked at him. "You're just gonna waltz through town wearing that t-shirt and your boots and your sneak pants?"

"Yes. Well, I won't _waltz_ / And stop calling these "sneak pants" / For the love of God."

She raised her eyebrows, seemingly impressed (and ignoring all the snark in his comment). "Proud of you."

He waved a hand dismissively. Truth be told, he was nervous. For a couple reasons. One, this would be the first time he'd ever shown any skin outside the Raider HQ. Not to mention that his _face_ was included in that. Secondly, there were obvious dangers associated with showing said face in public. Hyperion surveillance was still going strong, and even though they weren't as interested in the Vault Hunters as they were in mining Eridium, he was still running the risk of someone finding out who or what he was. But he swallowed the apprehension and stood up, motioning toward the door. "After you."

The walk down to the garage was a short one, and there weren't too many people out. Unfortunately, Zer0 could _feel_ the looks he was getting from the citizens that _were_ milling between the stalls in the courtyard. These people probably had no idea what they were looking at (if they even recognized him at all), and that only made them more curious.

"Just ignore 'em and keep walking," Gaige muttered. "We practically own this town, so act like it. Or, better yet, stare back at 'em. Those eyes of yours will send people inside _real_ quick."

"I thought you liked them."

"I do, but they're freaky as hell." She opened the door to the catwalks of the garage and called down a greeting. "Hey, Scooter, you mind if I work on DT down here for a little?"

"Naw, I always got time for—shiiiiit….why'd ya hafta bring _him_…?"

"He's my boyfriend," Gaige answered, trotting down the stairs to the garage floor. "And he wants to help."

"Aw, so he's gon' help this time 'stead 'a just standin' over in the corner? Also, why don'tcha got yer helmet on? Not that I'm complainin'. Ya ain't damn _near_ as creepy without it." The mechanic walked in a slow circle around Zer0. "Ya know, ya actually ain't as scary as I thought you'd be under all that stealthy crap. Hell, Gaige, why didn't ya tell me he wasn't a robot—he's practically human, ain't he?"

She shrugged. "Practically."

"Huh. Well, I guess I'll let you two get to workin'. I'll, uh, be around."

"This was a bad call," the assassin grumbled, joining Gaige at a workbench.

"Nah. People just have to get used to you. Hey, at least no one's called you a freak, right?"

"Mm."

She apparently took that as an affirmation, promptly digi-structed Deathtrap, and (after crooning a few pet names) started tinkering around in boxes under the workbench, pulling out various parts. Deathtrap just floated serenely a few feet away, flexing his claws.

Zer0 swallowed and tried to relax. This was no big deal, right? People wore short sleeves all the time. People had arms. People had faces. People had skin. Granted, it wasn't usually so pale it was practically transparent and _most_ people didn't have Eridian DNA making up their genetic code. But that was...beside the point, right? Right.

"Can you gimme that screwdriver over there?" Gaige was motioning vaguely to the workbench, since her face was currently all but _inside _Deathtrap.

He picked up the tool in mention. And was suddenly reminded he only had three fingers. Four, counting the thumb, but thumbs weren't technically—God, his fingers looked strange without gloves on. Had they always been so long and _spindly_—yes, yes they had—

"Ahem, screwdriver…..?"

He handed it to her silently.

"Thank you...and...how about that wrench…"

He gave that one without hesitation.

She stopped to grin back at him. "You're such a good helper, _boyfriend_." She let the last word linger a little, and glanced at Scooter. He _pshaw_ed and waved her away.

"You know," Gaige continued, turning her attention back to Deathtrap. "I had a weird dream last night. Probably 'cause I was lonely and missing you and stuff, but whatever." She tightened a few screws along the main bulk of Deathtrap's chassis. "So I was still in school, and you were going to college close by and you'd pick me up after classes..."

He crossed his arms and leaned back against a railing. An urban, academic version of him was relatively tame compared to some of the things Gaige's subconscious could invent.

"...arguing with Marcie while I was waiting for you one day, right? So we're just standing out in front of the school and I hear you drive up—you had a motorcycle, by the way—hella sexy—"

And a tight leather jacket with an upturned collar to match, he was sure.

"...and I'm like, "bitch, that's my man, gotta run" and she's looking at you and she's all, "there's no way he's your boyfriend" and oh my God, lemme try to remember exactly what she said—hand me those pliers, yeah?" She held out her hand to him.

He picked through the various tools on the workbench. "There are two kinds here."

"Whichever's bigger. Something got twisted in here and I don't want it shearing off and cutting a wire or whatever."

He handed over the larger of the two pairs of pliers.

"Thanks. So yeah, she said—and I quote—"we both know you couldn't score someone like him." She thought we were, like, cousins or something. And for the record, Scooter, in most societies, being related to someone means you shouldn't date them. Just sayin'."

"Yeah, yeah, make jokes. Whatever, man..."

"So anyway, at first I was mad 'cause, hey, yes I _can_ land a hot guy—that's a compliment, by the way—and then it hits me. She thinks you're hot. So then it's just funny, right? So you start to walk over and I'm like, "lemme introduce you" and suddenly she has somewhere super important to be and I'm trying not to crack up while she's practically running the other direction and...that's basically the gist of it." She looked over her shoulder and grinned at him. "Sweet revenge."

"As if the science fair-"

"Right, yeah...that." She sighed and set the pliers aside. "You know what's weird…?" She turned around and fiddled with her belt. "I actually feel bad for all that. Killing Marcie? I mean, yeah, she was a rich daddy's girl and I hated her, but…"

"You didn't want her to die."

"Yeah. More specifically, I didn't want to _murder_ her. Even if it was an accident." She pushed her hair behind her ear. "Is that weird? That I _didn't like_ murdering someone? Because, that's kinda a requirement for being successful here and everyone else seems to be fine with it—at the very least—some of you _enjoy _it, no offense to your hobbies or...or...profession or...whatever—I mean, it's different for you, right? You've been all over the six galaxies, and maybe even farther, and I haven't even graduated from high school—probably _because_ I murdered one of my classmates and news travels fast since that whole fiasco on the island happened and—"

"Gaige."

"—and sometimes I feel like I don't fit in to this whole murder posse—I feel like the little cheerleader with her fire and sparks pom-poms going around yelling all the time—"

"Gaige."

She stopped and rubbed at her nose. "What."

"You're being irrational again."

"I...know."

"Why?"

"Whenever I talk to my dad I remember that I'm basically a normal person living on a backwater planet with a bunch of criminals and...I get weird. Like, bad weird. Insecure and out-of-place weird."

Zer0 sighed. "Come here."

"You're not gonna be publicly affectionate, are you?"

"Come here." He pulled her into a hug. Albeit, a slightly awkward hug, but a hug. In public. Well, in Scooter's garage. But he was making progress. "Do you know what I told your father this morning?"

"Hey...I didn' know ya could talk normal! Is it th' helmet? Is that what gives ya the fancy poetry talk, or… Y'know...ya prolly wanna be left alone, yeah? Yeah. I'mma just...step on outside...for a sec...you two're real cute though. Reeeal real cute…"

"Scooter?"

"Yeah, yeah… I was jus' leavin'...Don't want ya ta kill me or nothin'...ha..." He laughed awkwardly, backing out of the front doors.

Gaige shook her head against Zer0's chest. "I'm surprised you haven't already." She looked up. "But tell me what you told Dad."

He rubbed her fingers through her hair and leaned down to kiss her. "I told him—_and I quote_—that you are "an amazing and brilliant young woman." And I meant it. Every word of it. You are not normal. Not even close. You are much better than normal. None of us are normal. So you fit in perfectly."

"You're too good to me," she muttered.

He couldn't help laughing a little. "It's sweet that you think so."

"You _don't_ think so?"

"I think it's the opposite."

"Oh, come _on_. You're an amazing boyfriend. You deal with all my crazy rants and my mood swings and the fact that I'm basically still a teenager and you're making an effort to be snuggly and stuff…"

"And you deal with my unhealthy and completely mentally-unstable love of blood and slicing and shooting the life out of anything that looks at me the wrong way."

"Well, when you say it like that…" She pulled away and looked back at Deathtrap. He hadn't moved. Unsurprisingly. "Hey, uh...can I run something by you?" She picked up a handful of tools from the workbench and stuffed them into her belt, returning her attention to Deathtrap.

"Of course."

"What are your thoughts on um...marriage? Like...getting married."

"This isn't because of the holiday that's apparently happening everywhere but here, is it?"

"I mean, we've been together for a while, right? Long enough for things to be...you know. Permanent?"

"Permanent doesn't default to married."

"Are you freaking out on me?"

"...no."

"Cause it's not like I'm legitimately proposing or anything. Or even suggesting we think about it. Can you imagine how weird that would be? I see the headlines now. This just in! Mechanical Genius Proposes to Mysterious Assassin! Read the full story on page eighteen!" she shook her head and pulled a hammer out of her belt.

"What are _your_ thoughts?"

"I think…I don't think it has to mean what everyone thinks it has to mean. If you know what I mean. It doesn't mean we have to stop doing what we're doing. God forbid we stop hunting Vaults and killing bandits and doing all the things that make us so badass. We can still have _fun_. Marriage just means… Hey, see this ring? Yeah, it means that this sexy guy standing next to me agreed to be mine and _only mine_ for the _rest of our lives_. So suck it, bitches."

Zer0 crossed his arms. "That last part certainly adds...eloquence."

"But you know where I'm coming from?"

"Marriage does carry a certain set of...expectations with it. Even on a planet like this."

"We don't have to live up to expectations. Do you not see me working on my killer floating robot right now? It's the twenty-ninth century for God's sakes. Traditional marriage was derailed _ages_ ago."

"Then why do you feel the need to do it?"

"I never said I did. I just wanted to know your thoughts. Which are, apparently, not favorable. Remind me to never ask you again."

"No, Gaige, it's not that I'm against commitment. I just think that marriage is more of a public announcement of commitment and you know how I am with public announcements. Unless every inch of my skin is covered, I'm not comfortable with them. And sometimes not even then. We don't need legal binding to prove commitment—we've saved each others' asses so many times—"

"Okay, I get it. No marriage. Sorry I scared you." She clipped off a piece of excess metal. It clattered against the floor and silence reigned for a minute.

"You didn't scare me," he answered softly. "Not much _actually_ scares me."

"Not even giant threshers?"

He snorted. "That dirt-covered grub had nothing on The Warrior, which, if I'm remembering correctly, was no match for the six of us. Seven, including this fine piece of machinery here." He walked up beside Deathtrap. The robot stared back placidly.

Gaige smiled and took a step back to admire her work. "Thank you. He is one sexy 'bot, isn't he?"

"I thought that phrase was reserved for me."

"It would have been. But I made a "sexy alien" category all for you."

"Half alien," Zer0 corrected. "Wouldn't want people to think I'm strange or anything."

"Oh no, of course not," Gaige fought a smirk. "Because haikus and full-body leather stealth suits are totally mainstream."

"I'm starting a trend."

"And you're a huge dweeb," she laughed. "You know, I honestly think we pulled off that whole Warrior thing just because Krieg loves being set on fire...and then there's the fact that we were able able to hide under some rocks out of range of...just about everything."

"The reporters don't need to know that."

"And they don't. But if Krieg yells one more thing about "Vaulters chopped into chicken pot pie with TOENAIL CLIPPINGS" then our secret's out for sure."

"Damn psycho and his big mouth," Zer0 muttered, smirking.

"Yeah, Maya needs to shut him up every once in a while." She grinned and started packing up her tools. "Where'd everyone go today, anyway? I haven't seen _any_ of the team. Besides you, of course. Not complaining, though. We have the base to ourselves. Well...Tannis is there, but she...yeah. We're basically alone."

"And on that note...what would you say to a little, mm..._committal bonding_ tonight?"

"You mean sex?"

"I've been distracted ever since the shower this morning. So yes, I mean sex. That's how we've been declaring our commitment ever since...well, you know."

She smiled and flicked her wrist, collapsing Deathtrap into a cloud of blue pixels. "Yeah. I know."

* * *

"And you're sure she was sleeping on the table?"

"She was sound asleep / Your moaning wouldn't wake her / So fuck me, dammit."

"God, what a romantic," Gaige teased. "How could I say no to a haiku that ends in _that_?"

"You're not supposed to, that's the point."

"So did you have anything special planned for tonight?" She ran her hands up his arms and laced her fingers behind his neck, pulling herself up to kiss him. "Because it _is_ Valentine's Day and—whoa, _whoa…_"

He'd already started moving into position above her, and dropped his head into the crook of her neck when she stopped talking. He gently nibbled at her shoulder.

"Oh, _God_..." she breathed. "Ooookay, plan B. I hope you don't mind if I end up going straight for your ass."

"Not at all." His breath was warm against her skin.

Taking that as an invitation, she slipped her hands down his back and grabbed at the soft, smooth, firm skin, tightening her grip as he moved the kisses and love bites up her neck and along her jaw.

Sex, as great as it was, wasn't just about the stuff happening between her thighs. She found that she was more aroused by how sensitive the rest of her body became. How acutely she could feel the muscles under his skin. How she shivered when his fingers ghosted over her shoulders and breasts. How warm his mouth was as he peppered her face with kisses. How his wings reacted to even the smallest movement and flicked randomly, reflecting any available light with a brief shimmer of purple.

And—completely unrelated to anything physical—how sexy a haiku could be when it was said in a frantic, breathless whisper.

She was yanked out of her musings with a gasp when he grabbed the back of her thigh. She didn't have to be prompted, and immediately wrapped both legs around his hips. The contact with so much skin made her stomach flutter and she involuntarily squeezed his ass, maybe a little more roughly than she'd intended to.

Which was why she was surprised when he caught his breath and let it out in a low moan. Did he...hm...alright... "You want more?" she whispered, lightly scratching the digits of her metal hand up and down his right shoulder blade.

He nodded and bit down surprisingly hard on her shoulder.

She squirmed, tightening her thighs around him. Okay, so she was in control. This was new. This could be...fun... "You like this...?" Slowly, she dragged her sharp metal fingers along the curve of his back, still trying to be gentle.

He snarled and bit her again, arching into the touch. Momentarily, she paused. He really did like this. She giggled, a little giddy with the knowledge that she was reducing this deadly assassin to a growling, writhing, needy mess.

Once more, she scratched her nails down his back and once more, she received a low growl and another bite in response. She was poised to do it again when he spoke.

"You know I like scars?" His voice was rough and his breath was ragged. "I like knowing why they're there..." He licked her shoulder, presumably over the bite marks he'd inflicted. "Now give me some more." The last sentence was whispered directly into her ear and accompanied with a quick buck of his hips.

She didn't need to be told twice. She settled her own hips into the rhythm he'd started and let her hands do the rest. Every groan, gasp, and laugh only made her dig in harder. The thought that she was probably making him bleed only crossed her mind once, and she pushed it aside.

He wanted this. And she was more than willing to indulge him.

* * *

"You got some serious scratches back here, man," Mordecai noted. "Those from a fight or from last night?"

Axton and Sal snickered.

"If they are still red / Then they're Gaige's masterpiece / She's a true artist."

Gaige smirked through a blush. The red gashes were visible even outside the coverage of his shirt. Some of them extended up his neck and over his shoulders... It had been a fun night. "And the only reason we were able to _do_ what we did was because most of you weren't here… _Aaaand_...since Maya came back with a flower made out of pieces of sawblades, I think it's _pretty obvious_ who she was out with." She glanced across the room at the blue-haired Siren.

Maya tossed the tiny sculpture onto the desk behind her and did her best to act innocent, trying to inconspicuously sidestep a few inches away from the strangely tranquil psycho beside her. Krieg, of course, followed, picking up the flower and attempting to give it back, mumbling "death blossoms for the pretty lady" under his breath.

"Uh huh. I think we all got that one figured out." The mechromancer turned back to Mordecai. "Which just leaves you and Lilith…" She put a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

Mordecai huffed. "I need a drink…" He turned to leave, but a hand to his chest (courtesy of Zer0) stopped him. The two snipers stared at each other for a moment before Mordecai slumped. "Right...right. Said I'd give it up…" Reluctantly, he sank down onto one of the nearby couches.

Lilith just smiled. "I figured it was time to move on."

And that was all that needed to be said.


End file.
